Happy New Year!
Friday, January 1, 2010 at 10:32PM Happy New Year to all my friend who follow me... I am blessed to have so many of you and so many of you who have responded to the last few days blogs. Thank you!
It's been a powerful experience and one I am eternally grateful for.
So the new year is upon us and with that a new decade, and to welcome this in with a Blue Moon was also an amazing experience and also a very spiritual experience. I now realize why I had the emotional meltdown and that was because the universe was preparing me for the next chapter of my life... the energy was extremely intense.
Well you will be glad to know that the gushing flow of water from my eyes has slowed to a leaky tap and actually I believe, fingers crossed has actually dried up... I think I cried for England the way I was going. But as I said before it was an amazing enlightening experience. I remember when I was explaining to a dear friend of mine that I was a 'cry baby' and she said that there was nothing wrong in that in fact that was good because at least I could get the emotion out... and she was right, I can and throughout my marriage it's taught me to release my emotions in the way that I need.
I am not a shouter or a screamer... I wish I was sometimes, but I am a crier and it's one thing that I like to do, although many people don't like to see it and they feel helpless but what I will say to you is that, if you see someone crying, allow them to cry, don't offer advice, but open your arms and allow them to fall in to them. When they are ready they will then talk, because after the crying comes the talking.
I learnt through therapy that us women are talkers we need to thrash it out with our friends and talk and talk and talk... it doesn't matter whether anything is resolved you just need to talk it out... men deal with things differently and that is where we differ. I know that there is the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, but the book that really helped me and Kev was the Art of the Superior Man. It was incredible and it helped us both understand that we both see issues differently and how the other person see's it.
I know so many people are going through what I have recently been through which is why I am talking about it. After all I am only human. I am expecting to get the comments, 'Well you are psychic, surely you must have known' And in reality, yes I did know. I didn't know from day one but I knew, and I also knew I would ignore my intuition because I wanted so badly for my marriage to work.
However through this I have realized I am not a failure. I didn't fail at my marriage, and I don't have a failed marriage behind me, because I didn't fail and neither did Kev. We worked hard at it, and we were strong and actually it was in many ways a strong marriage. So I choose to look at it as another lesson. I had to go through it to grown and learn about myself and also learn what a marriage should be like.
I still believe in marriage very strongly. I look at couples who I know and I think... I want to have that bond just like them. You see I am an old fashioned girl with old fashioned values. Thats just the way that I am. I certainly don't look at like through rose tinted glasses, but I do have values and they are very strong. I was practically raised by my grandparents and so I have their values, and my grandad used to say, that he had a granddaughter who was like a gentleman... I used to think this was strange, but then he explained that I just had values... bless him.
Last night, Mike and Jonesy came over and Mike cooked and we all drank Champagne and laughed and joked and then 15 minutes to midnight I left to be on my own. I had spent all day preparing for this moment. I had printed off emails, gathered photos and other things that were significant. I had the fire pit ready, my itunes playlist ready and I sat outside in my garden looking up at the moon and the brightest star in the sky and I said my goodbyes.
I said my final goodbye to my marriage, friendships and love. I deleted romantic text messages and emails from my phone and computer, I deleted photos from my computer and my phone. All the emails I had printed out and I burnt them... Before burning them I read every message and I held it in my heart and then I threw it in the flames... And the flames became the flames of love.
I have this saying... delete with love... and this is what I did... I burnt with love. I also burnt my wedding pictures and other pictures that I had. It was such a powerful experience such a cleansing experience and one I had to do on my own as I was saying goodbye to the last year and welcoming in my year (my wasn't the word I wanted to use but the letters came out so I had to leave it!)
I raised a glass to the sky and made a wish and gave in to the energy. It was amazing! I listened to neighbours who were hosting parties, I listened to girls cry, I listened to boys boast, and I sat there feeling whole, at peace and I knew that at that moment I was in the right place at the right time and I had everything that I needed in the world and that was ... I had ME back!
I was actually going to blog about this but I went to bed exhausted...
I read a post on Facebook today from a close friend who said that her mother told her that the first day of the year represents how you are going to conduct yourself the rest of next year... Before I saw this post, I was dancing around the kitchen to Copacabana shaking my Special K cereal as my maracas... and Charlie getting embarrassed as I was totally being a 'fruit loop'. Charlie and I had gone hunting for sticks to make a hut in the garden, which we ended up creating, and we had planned a movie night. I had also at this point cooked something too... So when I read that post, I laughed and thought... Oh no... I'm gonna learn to cook and finally discover what my kitchen is for, I will be embarrassing Charlie constantly by my singing and dancing, and we will be making things out of twigs... but it was great to read because I felt that it was going to be a year about love.
Love for myself, love for Charlie and love for those in my life... and along with it would be fun, laughter and joy!
So as I sign off, remember even though things may be tough, and hard... just think... it's just a moment in time. It's just a short moment of disruption which will lead to freedom or peace until YOU decide to change that. And remember you are in control... you have the power to change and you have the power to grow.
Thank you to everyone in my life who has helped in this journey, including those who hurt me too, because if I didn't have the hurt, I wouldn't be able to find the love!
With love
Lisa xx
Email Article to Friend
Reader Comments (113)
Now it is finally over, and you have made the move that a few of us knew was coming over the past years, now that I know you are truly safe and on your way to true freedom and peace within yourself, I can let go of the friendship we shared..just let go period..see you up there..or in our next lifetime together. You deserve all the happiness and fun you're having.LD
HI lisa ,, i am a new visitor here and came into your world as things were beginning to change for you
I truly believe that people come into you life for a reason a season or a lifetime , I applaud and support you in your ability to take what is a brave loving step . remembering that the only things of this earth holding you back were things of this earth and dealing with them in such a loving way means that you have let them go with the right energy of which i am sure you are aware.
Whilst you may not know what is coming for you . as you know sometimes you have to let something go to get something more amazing ..
right now know that we all support you and wish you a peaceful sleep and restful slumber going forward safe in the knowledge you have done what is best for YOU! - and yes this person is important enough to be put first for a change
kindest wishes and peace to you
I love how you give back to the universe and you were so very strong.. letting
go. The fire of love where everything should be placed. Bless you Lisa. You
had me laughing so hard when you said you were dancing to cococapbana with special
K. I'm a cryer too .. it's hard to explain how cleansed you feel.. I tend
to cry in the middle of things and laugh while I cry too.. that i'm crying in the middle of things.. weird. But I get what you say about tears. You knew what you had to do and you are doing it, in love and to be free. Bless you .. I am sending
you my love I truly am. I've been here, or there.
I too was told that for the first time about start the year as you mean to follow.. and as candid as this is, I think it's kind of hilarious.. I farted right on new years lol.. not very romantic. So hopefully for his sake they will bend the rules.
Love never hurts Lisa.. and the fact your opening your arms to truth and knowledge for all that is love. Is beautiful..
from: Twitter.com/GoogleGirl
Dearest Lisa,
Remember the earthquake after your weekend event? All things shift physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I know you already know that but I'm reminding myself.
I honor you for the experiences and emotions that you are having right now. You are a special lady and you really have empowered the lives of many personally known and unknown people. May the universe, God, and all good things return empowerment and love to you 10 fold during your struggles so that you may see all things encircled in love that pertain to you.
I also saw the Blue Moon and after a few minutes I pondered what it could mean. I have to say.. you came to my mind when I saw it. I send you my thoughts of sisterhood and friendship although we have never met. What a time to have a Blue Moon.. with all the things that are changing.
Sweet Dreams to you this first night of 2010 and to all your blog followers.
GoogleGirl
Amen Did it again Lisa Love this blog and I hope you got my email about the last one! Also sent you some Ga Ga videos from new years on face book enjoy:) My first Professional party is today, wish me luck Here's to new beginnings !
Love Melissa
Wow Lisa......It is almost sad in a way reading your posts, about the burning of the wedding photos and all that. But in a way I can understand it also. It all seems so final, but then also a new beginning for you. I got rid of my previous wedding photos, and my ring went for a swim in the toilet! LOL LOL I hope this new year will be really good for you, and that you have all the happiness in your life that you want and truly deserve for you and Charlie. And you have all your "extended family" standing beside you in whatever you do. You are a strong person, and you give so much to so many, but you have to do whatever it takes to make you happy. You have to take care of yourself. Best wishes for you and Charlie.
Dena
Lisa,
May 2010 bring a new 'normal' to yours and Charlie's lives.
Gail
I wish I would be that strong when my time comes to be strong. Young as I am it scares me.
Tere are tens of thousends of ppl who sincerely love You and wish You happiness. I'll send my hugs to Your way!
(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Lisa I am raising a glass to you and to changes in 2010 <3
I just wanted to say thank you for all your deep and heart-felt blogs lately... I know it is redundant to say, but you really Are an inspiration <3
Sometimes wearing your heart on your sleeves or showing emotions is perceived as "weakness" to many.... but I have to say, you have really shown it to be a strength more than anything.
"Delete with love." I really like that, and have been working on using that for the past couple of years. It is still a work in progress for me, but I know that the times I Have done that, it had been very beneficial, as well as liberating.
Anyway... before ramble on and on too much... I will just say... Welcome to 2010!!
With Lots of Love and Hugs...
xx
Happy New year! Lisa! it took me years, to get over my 21 yr marriage,glad u r getting thru it right away! and over it, but, no doors have opened again for me! 16 yrs, single! and alone! maybe this year, Ill meet my love! when I was young, it was nice being in love! wish i had tha t again! its hard being alone! but u r never alone! God blessed u!Love to u and Charlie, and to Kev!
2010 is going to be an amazing year! So happy to see that you have a fresh start and are dancing your way into the next chapter of your life!
Thank you for your honesty and sharing your story with us, you are an inspiration and such a beautiful star in the sky :D
Aww Lisa...I'm crying and laughing with you !
I'm so glad that you are able to share with us and know that we are here for you...with lots of love and support, always...
Wishing you a wonderful new life and future...it is out there, ready for the taking !!!
It will be, a very Happy New Year !!!
Sharon xx
Another amazing blog- you rock my socks of Lisa!!!
Much love,
Lyndell xxxoooxxx
Wow, I need that kind of strength right now...
Love to You~~ Patti
Whoa Lisa..What can i say, but a very big, massive thank you for helping people, including myself..AS they say, "what we put out, or give out to the world, comes back at us ten fold."...Well, just imagine how much love is coming your way?? HEAPS...Endless amounts of love..Just for being you!! Love ya always..Stace.S and Hayley
Dearest Lisa,
I am so pleased you feel better after your good crying bout and burning ceremony. To be honest, I was somewhat relieved when you told us you cried like a baby, because you were being so cheerful and wearing such a brave face in the beginning, I was wondering why it wasn't upsetting you, because I realised that, in many ways, Kev was a strong support system for you (not least of all in the kitchen department... lol), so now I feel better too because you stopped trying to be superwoman for a while and showed us that you hurt just as much as the rest of us do. I am over 50 already and I can still cry like a real baby sometimes, and in fact, even feel like I am just a child at times, all lost and rudderless. I think, as women, we are lucky in this regard, because it gives us an excuse to be emotional. I also believe talking and sharing our problems, as women do, is also a blessing, because it definitely helps lessen the pain. Thank you once again for sharing so much of yourself with us. I hope we can give you in return at least some of the comfort that you give to us.
I am so looking forward to being part of your wonderful extended family in the following year... also cannot wait for your next book... and also am going to hope like crazy that you visit us in South Africa (don't you really need to visit your friends here... I am sure they must be missing you by now, including that little boy you 'adopted'???).
Love you lots and lots Lisa... God bless you and Charlie and your Lisa Williams team - Caroline, Trish and Jonesy... and all the rest too.
Hugs,
Jeanette
i wish you the best in 2010...lots of love, exitement and new beginnings...thank you for sharing so honestly in your blogs.
Hug
xxx
my darling lisa
i am to at the end of my marriage
i fought for a long time to save my marriage but i knew it was over
i am having extreme difficulties beleiving it wasnt my fault,i didnt fail and i am worth
my self worth is my biggest problem but like you i still dance with food and my kids still groan with embarressment as they think ive finally lost my marbles
but i know this is my path to walk and my lessons to learn
im sorry and i know how your heart and soul feel i think
take care lovely lady
you are gonna be great
hugs and a happy new year to charlie and you
this will be a year of love joy and dancing with food
anna
((((Lisa)))) So proud of you girl as I know this is a tremendous and painful experience that you are allowing yourself to process and move through. You are brave and courageous for allowing yourself the time to heal and regain your strength! Crying is so healthy... so a 'cry baby' is defined by me as a sensitive, loving and caring soul with a big heart and that is someone I will always lend my shoulder to in times of need. You can't hold all that pain in your heart and tummy as it makes you sick! Sometimes words cannot be spoken when your heart is hurting and that release and cleansing is so good for you. These pauses in life are so necessary just as you need rests between notes in order to make good music! So for this new year that is still in its infancy, you are creating a new melody in your heart and harmonizing your soul. Cheers to you girl! May this year bring you and your angel boy love, light, peace, joy, and harmony!!!
Sending you lots of hugs!
DS
Thank you Lisa again for all these thoughts, wishes and fantastic vibes.
You have so much love inside of you and arround you and you have the power to look around you and see that love.
Yes girls need to talk... SO MUCH, I think I really am a talker and when I'm finished talking to my friends, I talk to myself and then I talk in my dreams it's incredible !
I really believe that what you have lived with Kev was wonderful and it was part of your experience and it is beautiful that you can see things clearly and be peaceful with it, I really admire you. Indeed it is only when we go through difficult moments that we are able to see precisely that life is precious and enjoy little things that are actually huge.
My New year's Eve was quite fine... Only at the end I talked with someone quite interesting, we'll see ;-)
You know Lisa I don't think anyone can have a tough judgement about your decision about your marriage. Of course you are a human being, an extraordianry human being but how could somebody judge you and if they did, they would be wrong.
I want to thank you for this year Lisa, for giving what you gave us, for your openness, your endless generosity, your pure love and your spontaneity and passion. Thank you ;-) and I wish you the best year, may your deepest dreams come true...
Much Love,
Lise
Hi Lisa, Get out your favourite dance music and go for it.
Dance & Sing till you drop.Charlie is embarrassed now but
will look back at these times when his Mum danced with the
Special K and smile.
Hi Lisa and Happy New Year.
Ive only just had chance to catch up with your blog and so sorry to hear about the end of your chapter with Kev. Its sad but everything happens for a reason as we all strongly believe. Im on my 2nd marriage and am now struggling a little after 10 years. Its such hard work isn't it!!?? I lost my beautiful Dad in October and my husband, even though he seemed sympathetic at the time, doesn't seem to get it, you dont get over it in a few months.
Anyway Lisa, Im sending all the strength I have but I know you're a survivor as I've read your book! So much of that book I could relate to as Ive experienced a lot of what you've experienced in life (not medical....the other stuff) and found it refreshing....although I love peas!!!!
Hope you're OK Lisa Williams and wishing you much magic for 2010
Bec xxxxxxxxx
Amazing and well said Lisa....I knew you would bounce back full force.
Embrace this new energy for the new year. I am so happy for you!
Hi Lisa....
New to the family. I have been watching your shows. My sister Karen Avery met you years ago in Birmingham and she told me to watch your shows on TV. We lost our dear Mum (also our best mate) last June and my Mum always said... "Every day is a new adventure." Good advice to us all! Happy New Year xxxx