Through pain comes peace... Release!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 10:20PM Wow... I didn't realize that my blog last night would hit home to so many, and I am glad that I finally opened up with my emotions and shared it with the world. My Nan used to say, a problem shared is a problem halved, and you know, it helped me with the emotions.
I do believe that anyone who is facing the next year with change, it's hard and it's always this time of the year that feelings and emotions surface as we reflect back upon what we achieved in the last year. It's the ending of a decade and also a trying time for many people and next year is the start of something new. We have to honor though the emotions and feelings that we have towards this year.
For me there has been an enormous amount of change. I love change and deal with it very well however there are times that it hits me, just like it has over the last few days. So I gave in to my feelings again today. Fortunately Charlie was taken care of, so I was free to feel the emotion and pain...
Through the pain and the tears I realized that not only was I trying to internalize what had happened recently but I was also grieving for many things in my life, not only this year, but this decade. We have to look at the bigger picture here, and it's a changing shift of energy and as we change decades the energy is growing stronger and stronger. It's not easy to deal with change as it is, but this is such a powerful transformation that we are all going through that it's been hard on many of us, and especially this year as we say goodbye to it.
I have had lots of emotions to deal with over the last 6 months and this is something that has been hard, and having to face facts that my marriage was over, was the toughest thing I have ever had to do. It was something that I had to look at and deal with… I could't let it drag on and on, and finally letting go enabled us both to be released and to be free and to find happiness in other directions.
It's something that was hard, but being able to face it head on is a gift in itself, so many people know that they are unhappy yet they are reluctant to do anything about it, they continue about their day, knowing that it's going to end, but not dealing with it, facing it and honoring what it was… Because what the relationship was… was a beautiful union of love and friendship that lasted it's course, fulfilled contract of what was set. Two people were bought together for a reason and when that reason is through it's time to face the situation and admit, that it's over… Done!
I am so happy that Kev and I have released each other for a new pathway and journey through life, because why stay and make each other unhappy. I know that this is going to hit home to many people and I recently said to a very special friend of mine that I 'press buttons' and I do… but I do it for a reason, I have always done it to help people see for themselves the situation that they are in. Yes it's not easy and pressing buttons can often come back and bite me in the bum… but that is a risk I take to ensure that someone else is fulfilling their pathway and are continuing throughout their journey in the way that they need to. I will never make a decision for someone but I will make them see it from a different angle and it's up to them to decide if they can stay there or not.
This is the real test…. do you look it in the eye and face it, or do you bury your head in the sand, waiting for the 'right' time, where really there is no right time… the right time is now!
The universe, spirits, angels will all give you signs that you are on the right pathway. all day today I have seen the signs. But you have to look for them and notice them and not put it down to coincidence. For instance, I was talking to a friend about my upset with another friend recently and I knew I had to talk to this person, and I needed a sign, and out of no where a tiny white feather floated down and landed on me.
I needed a sign on whether to send an email or wait, and even though I was told to wait by my guides, I needed confirmation, I decided to sent it, but suddenly the internet connection kept dropping and I wasn't able to send the email on my phone, when I went to my computer, I logged in to my emails, there was the email that I needed to see! If I had sent the previous one, I don't think I would have gotten the answer that I needed.
It's been a day of signs, down to asking for guidance and confirming things for me, when people have emailed, or my ipod is on shuffle and it plays a significant piece of music that relates to the circumstance, just confirm that my feelings are right, a saying that my grandfather used to say to me all the time, I heard by a few people who I was passing. These were signs that I needed that helped me release the emotions and the heavy sobs that followed me throughout my day.
I will be the first one to admit, I am a cry baby, and I love it, I like to cry, I release so much, and today was the day that I released… Jeez… did it come out… I thought yesterday was bad but this… well it was like the main water pipe had burst… Proper lung heaving sobs, big wet delicious tears rolled down my cheeks… but it was good. It was SO SO good. I realized that I was not only dealing with this recent situation but everything else that had landed on my shoulders in the last year… I caved and sobbed with my girls in the office… oh the girls… my saviors. Caroline, Trish and Jonesy what would I do without them. They finally sat me down and told me (again) that I wasn't super woman, and that I had to honor my feelings and grieve.
And so I did, and I have and I continue to do so. I am not scared to embrace these feelings and be honest with myself or someone else. I realize that they are my feelings and they need to be honored. I told a friend of mine how I felt about a situation, I told someone else that I loved them, I told someone else that I didn't like what they had done… I faced the truth, just like I faced the truth of my marriage.
And finally through all the pain, and tears came calmness… (I think mainly because I have run out of water in the pipe and it's now like a leaky tap), but there came this calmness. An understanding that I am in control of MY life and its up to me to make ME happy. As I walked the dogs this evening, I thought about conversations I have had, situations I was in, and people I surrounded myself with, and I wouldn't change a thing, as it's made me stronger and face situations and my emotions.
Through the pain came inspiration, like a bright sun that shone through the misty clouds in the sky… the inspiration flowed and flowed and I became one with it. Another sign I needed, my piano books arrived and I spent hours at the piano, playing and singing songs that were important to me, I wrote some of my book, and I trusted my heart.
So what I take from this, is that we have to deal with things head on, we have to focus on our emotions at the time and not sweep them under the carpet. We have to deal with situations head on, because if you don't it will be so much worse later on when it all surfaces… like mine did… the emotional outburst, that I thought would never stop.
Now don't get me wrong it's not finished and I am going to carry this through until tomorrow New Years Eve, where I will be spending time on my own with pictures, letters, emails, songs and many other things that i need to release and I promised I would release them… I will read them all, and fill my heart with love for the people, the situation or circumstance, but tomorrow in front of the fire, at the stroke of midnight I will have a glass of champagne, I will be wearing a certain piece of jewelry and be playing certain songs on my ipod, I will release everything into the fire, just like I released my wedding rings in to the ocean, and I will look up to the brightest star in the sky, and toast to new memories with love and hope in my heart and I will keep the faith... That's All...
Happy New Year, and I will be back next year...
With trust, friendship and lots of love
Lisa xx
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Reader Comments (77)
Hi Lisa! Thankyou for sharing how you feel and how you are dealing with everything! i too have been going through a relationship finishing! The problem is that it has finished and restarted a few times now! Lol! But reading your Blogs have made me realise that just because you love that someone does not mean that its right to be with that someone! I beleieve that i was with this person to help them through a difficult time in their life and i was there to pick them up, dust them off and ease them forward onto the right path and now im not needed. I will find the courage now to release the both of us so that we can both find happiness. I send you and Charlie lots of love and hugs on your new journey, it was lovely meeting you in Blackpool and i still keep the postcard by my bed and read the message "stay Strong" everynight before i sleep. I believe it helps! You Take care, lots of love, Sascha xxxxxx
Lovely Lisa: I had no idea, had not read or heard, that you and Kev had decided to separate. This is a major life change for certain, and one so many of us understand. I am sorry you both have to go through the anguish of actually doing it, however. It is very painful, especially with a son involved. I hold you in my prayers that you may continue to be comforted during this time, even though months have passed. As you must be aware, new doors will continue to open in your life and God will continue to expand your horizons and your knowledge. Sending you abundant blessings and comfort as you move forward into this New Year! Kim Mercier
Cheers Hun.. great blog... raw and full of emotions... Cheers to a fresh year and to new memories yet to be made... I hope I can get myself to have such a release sometime soon... I've tried and tried, but I think I have conditioned myself over the years to stay composed (for various reasons)... but believe me, I have tried to break that... I just have yet to succeed...
Thanks for being such an inspiration and for showing the emotions and mistakes does not make a person "weak"... on the contrary, as long as we learn the lessons we must learn and continue to allow ourselves to grow...
Happy New Years with New Hope to All.. See you on the other side of the new year!...
With Love xx
<3
Wow. Some real food for thought there. You have a real way with expressing your feelings. It's great. Happy New Year. A toast to new begings :0) xx
Lisa, you are such an inspiring, strong and beautiful woman, with a massive heart. Thank you for all your blogs this year, and for helping me meet all the wonderful people that i have met through you. I needed to hear everything that you have said in your last two blogs (not about marriage, but it certainly fits into my life!). Keep on shining to the world. Big hugs, and all the best for 2010. It's going to be a good one. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Lisa, I believe I may be walking down your same path, just at the beginning. I don't know how I am going to get the strength, the guts, the finances, the emotions, the everything that it's going to take for me to make the changes I feel are coming. I guess the first thing to do is just accept it. I accept that my marriage is coming to an end. My heart goes out to my husband who will not understand. At least, not right away. It's no fun to be in a marriage where there is no spark. We have love for one another as people....as friends....as family for 21 years. But I believe the contract is ended or ending. I just need a BIG, RED, HUGE...sign that says, YES...end it and you'll be okay. It's weird how I feel so aweful about this. I feel upset for everyone else. My 3 kids. My 2 grandkids. It just hurts so much. All of it. I don't want to hurt anyone. I know you know. Please keep me in your thoughts. I'm keeping you in mine. Love, Melinda
Honouring your feelings is true.. being yourself. I laughed at this movie I cannot for the life of me remember what it is called now.. but a woman when she broke up with someone. She cried and cried and cried so many tears.. i cried laughing watching it, because it took so many tears in the middle of dishes.. work.. the loo lol.. until finally she got it all out. It is like that. :)
I really understand what you mean about the bigger picture, loving someone and
letting them go. I've gone through that and it's really loving them .. even
though I don't know your not popular if someone disagrees. Going with your truth is the only option as far as i'm concerned. Your friends sound lovely lisa..
like beautiful people who really love you. I'm so glad you have them.
It's so important.. anyway.. thinking of you and i'm glad you'll be having that glass of champaign. You are respected lisa and you know.. you living your truth is inspiring.. your a strong woman. My husbando .. babies and myself love you.
Never give up on your faith.. for that is the reality we need always.. god bless you xoxo
((((Lisa))))
Excellent blog!!! Again on point, and a heartfelt thank you for sharing you! Happy New Year and God bless you!
Love to you,
Lisa my thoughts are with you. This is part of what I was going through 3 years ago. You will get there and will be a stronger person for it. Honouring a fewhome truths did me the world of good.
Stay strong but you are certainly doing the right thing by releasing the emotion. Something I used to do was just bottle it all up, I think a huge part of why it took a good 2 and half years to get through it is because I had years of supressed emotion and I don't recommend it to anyone.
Always honour what you are feeling they are yours and yours alone. Don't let anyone try and say otherwise!
My love and thoughts are with you and Charlie
Happy new year
Hugs
Rachel xx
Hi Lisa
sorry to hear what you and your son are going through my love goes to you all im just at the point now were im ready to start living my life again after my break up 3 years ago but still a bit hesitant just to open that door the fear of getting hurt again is always there but its a new year and maybe time i looked forward and not sideways thank you for sharing your feelings and letting me share mine heres to a fantastic 2010 for all of us with love T x
Happy new year, Lisa! I wish you all the best :)
Dear Lisa,
So sorry to hear of the pain that you are going through...but there is much pain involved in these situations where one's relationship comes to an end and new life
begins. Once all your feelings and grief are let out then you will come to a place
of acceptance and peace...but I am sure you know all that. Thank you for sharing
with us a big part of your life. Extra blessings for little Charlie as you all work out
your future plans. I know my girls were devastated when my first husband and I
separated and divorced...but things are going well now. So...blessings to you as you formulate your new life and blessings to Kev for his new life too.
With heaps of love and friendship always,
and HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!
Dear Lisa:
I am so relieved to read this blog. For quite some time now, I've been concerned that you were not allowing yourself time to grieve - you seemed so "determined" to be happy and to focus only on the good of your recent changes.
Yes, focusing on the positive is important, but it's also important to let yourself feel the grief. My spiritual path recognizes the duality of everything. The so-called "negative" isn't bad; it just is. Without the darkness, we will never appreciate the light. Without the light, we cannot appreciate the dark.
So, too, are endings and beginnings bound together. You are, of course, experiencing both, and should allow yourself to do so. It's done when it's done, and not before. Grieving for what is lost doesn't detract from what is found.
I wish you and yours many Blessings in the coming year.
Mary
Dear Lisa!
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through right now. I want to send my best wishes to you and your son! You seem to me always so happy and positive. Remember you don't have to be so positive all the time. You are allowed to be sad and tired. Just like your friends told you: you don't have to be a super woman. But it's great you can think positively! I'm sure it helps you through many things in your life. Thank you for sharing this with us! It helps mee too when somebody reminds me of same things I'm going through in my life. You helped me without even knowing. Thank you! I blow warm hugs and all my support to you from Finland!
Happy new year!
P.S. I love your TV show!
Happy 2010, Lisa. Brand new yr, brand new start.
You are such a strong and wonderful woman Lisa. Bless you and little Charlie bear for a brighter and happier new year to come. Remember how loved you are by all and the good you put out into the universe! love you anita xxxxxxxxxxx Happy New Year !!!!!
Dear Lisa, thank you for this amazing and huge blog ;-) it's very nice to see that you share so much with us...and it's good that you let your emotions be. You are such an energetic woman, graceful, full of light and you carry happiness with you. I know you are going through so much pain but I feel that you will really be happy Lisa. So many people don't dare to see the truth in their couple and the thing is, I think, that they don't believe in themselves and in life. Because I really believe life can give you delightful surprises. And sometimes people are afraid to ask too much. Well, what you did is facing the truth and honoring life. I'm persuaded that you will only be happier Lisa...
I'm also expecting a lot from the coming year, I know there will be many new plans for me and that I will do everything to make my projects come true. Everything is moving on and this is good.
Tonight I will spend New Year's Eve with new people and make new connections ;-) and let go of the past.
Thank you again Lisa... Dont forget we all love yo so much... ;-)
I wish you the best ever,
Lots of love,
Lise
Dear Lisa
This is something i really needed right now.
Thank you
xx
When I met you in Sydney you told me to stay strong! I never knew what was coming but those words and your blogs have helped me through some very difficult situations. Thank You so much Lisa! All the Very Best for a Happy New Year to you, Charlie and family! Its going to be a good one! See you Down Under
O M G JUST THANK YOU 1000 TIMES LISA TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH US. You can't imagine one second how it "calls" us.
Happy New Year - tonight there is a Blue Moon...how special!! The last Blue Moon on New Years was 20 years ago I believe.
I shall be recharging my Chakra crystals I purchased at your Sarasota show.
We have to grieve when we part from our spouses or partners. I tell that to people all the time. We have to have a break - get to know ourselves again - do the things we need to do on our own. It's like a death of a situation, a passing - and we have to be strong and see the best of what can come out of it. I have dealt with this myself - so I know how it all feels...the raw emotions and the 'am I doing the right thing'......but we all know you will make it through - and we all will be here - not just as fans - but as friends too
Debbie
xx
Lisa, You are an amazing lady! I read your Blogs daily and have been following your silent but now public pain. May 2010 bring you and Charlie Love, Good Health and Happiness... I know it will as you will make it happen!!!
Take Care, Love Julie xx
"My Nan used to say, a problem shared is a problem halved, and you know, it helped me with the emotions."
I LOVE this, what a great way to say it. I am always taking things in and not really talking to anyone. Have to learn it's okay to talk .
Thanks for speaking from your heart to help yourself and others heal.
Love & Light & Laughter,
Lisa, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and feelings with us. And it is good that you are allowing yourself time to grieve, and reflect on everything. It just goes to show you are human like everyone else. You can only be so strong. But yet in doing this you ARE strong. When I read your blog about you throwing your wedding rings in the water, I thought WOW! I know what it is like to be in a situation where you are not happy. I felt trapped with a previous marriage. And so relieved when I did manage to get out. Only you know what is best for you and Charlie. And you have so many friends that will be there for support. I hope this next year will be a new beginning for you both. Hugs!!
Dena