Both sides of the story!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 at 10:40PM With so many people in the world, its hard to get on with everyone all of the time and this is something that we have to realize and understand. It's something that I have had to do as I have understand and recognize as I have gotten older, and what makes life easier in these situations is communication.
People are very different with different opinions and how I work may not be right for someone else, and I say that all the time even when I am teaching, we all have different ways of communicating. But the one thing that we do have is the means to communicate.
There are so many ways, we can text, email, write, speak, draw etc etc and the list goes on. But what you have to do is eventually talk... speak the words and then you find that you can open up so many things. But what happens when you don't communicate is that people jump to conclusions, and very often the wrong conclusions.
It's so very apparent that when this happens the argument is often one sided and the other people is left wondering where that comment came from, and what sparked it. Both sides have to be heard and it's not fair to those who the accusations are aimed at if their side of the story is not heard.
It can also be an element of control, Passive aggressive control and the person may not realise that they have done it, yet it's put the other person in a space, questioning themselves and their actions and if it's right and then trying to make amends when actually they haven't done anything wrong.
It's a hard place to be, but you have to know that when you don't jump to conclusions and when you open the lines of communications so much more can be dealt with and it's easier to confront.
So when you feel that you need to address something, sit back if only for a moment and listen, listen to the other side of the story and then you can come to a well informed decision about things, it can actually save so much heartache in the end!!!
I am just about to leave for LA... sad to say goodbye to Sydney but I am looking forward to seeing my boy!!! YAY!!!
Hugs and love
Lisa xx
Reader Comments (39)
LOTS of truth to this, Lisa. A very good reminder to many of us, myself included.
Enjoy your trip back home and am sure it will be a most joyous reunion for you and Charlie.
Lots of Love to you dear (((((((((((Lisa))))))))))
XOXOXOXX
Hi Lisa,
Have a great trip back. I hope you liked the little things the Kindy children gave you - they are five year olds and knew youwere someone special to me, and therefore very special to them too!! They chose things they would have liked to have received - well not the spider!!
Your blog is interesting to me because it fits a situation i have at present. I was very stressed on the Friday night of the conference because of vexatious rumours occuring in my job - directed towards me. The conference helped me to look beyond myself and channel out the negative feelings I have towards the people doing me damage. A great quote from Oscar Wilde 'There is nothing your enemies hate more than you being nice to them!!
Hope to see you again soon.
Susanna
As usual your spot on Lisa,
so many times your thoughts are exacty
about a situation very close to heart.
And again you make me think about
'the other side of the story' - perhaps
one day I will get to meet up with loved
ones to find out what really happened !
Safe Journey home
Barb
This is so true Lisa and a good reminder to us all :)
I hope you have a wonderful trip home and i cant
wait till you come back to the Gold Coast again...
Have a fantastic reunion with Charlie,
I am sure he has missed you loads...
Lots of love xoxox
:( your leaving.. thanks for coming lisa. I love you. You must miss Charlie sooooooooo much. This is the most amazing blog. I had a situation like this, EXACTLY.. the day before your conference this weekend. It was heart breaking for me..wow.. I can't believe you wrote this. But, you are you! haha.. this blog has given me a bit of healing.. like you understand something I've been through without knowing about it. Your so amazing like that.
Bless you on your travels, may you stay safe and well. xxx
Hello Lisa,
Thank you for another great blog.
I hope you have a great trip back home.
Hi,Lisa,have a safe trip home do hope you enjoyed Australia.Look forward to seeing you again.I love reading your blogs,they are full of insight well to me anyway!Bless you!
Dearest Lisa,
You are so right... communication is so important, as is listening properly to each other, and also trying to read between the lines and learn where that person is coming from.
I have also learnt over the years that oftentimes, people just don't think the same as what I might think. We somehow expect us all to reason things out the same way, and it has taken me many years to accept that some people are just very different and come from a very different headspace. In those cases, one has to learn to just let it go. My hubby has a client at the moment throwing verbal abuse at him and his staff left, right and centre. No matter what Colin says to try and calm the situation down, this client is intent on swearing, threatening, cursing and cussing. I have been amazed how cool Colin has been during all these tirades. The bottom line in this situation is that this guy has a bad attitude and the best thing to do in the circumstances is to step back and cancel the relationship with him, which is exactly what Colin has done.
At the end of the day, we have to decide whether dialogue is going to work, or whether pursuing a relationship is a waste of time.
Thank you, once again, for sharing your views.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Safe trip home Lisa! Enjoy your time with Charlie!
Carla Collins xoxo
Have a safe and wonderful journey home Lisa, Australia will miss you, but I am sure Charlie will be waiting for your hugs and love.
Love & Light Always,
Chris & Matt, Canberra
Goodness gracious! How true! Why do people love their rumours so much, to point finger, to label others?
Maybe it´s fear, they just do it before anyone does it to them-kinda-thing?
Another Oscar Wilde:" We all live in the gutter but some of us gaze up at the stars"...
Lisa Williams is definitely way up there, shining her bright light and giving comfort and direction to many of us.
Well said Lisa and I understand completely on what you are referring to wink wink!!
Sometimes as well no matter how hard we do communicate to people the other person can get agressive and and act out by" Shooting the Messenger" so to speak and this is because they are hearing what they dont want to hear and just because they wanted to hear something else instead!!
What they dont realise or tend to forget is "The Messenger " is only the tool and who passes the messages to the people who the messages are for.
So lets all send some powerful positivity out into the universe for all those people who have a tendency to "Jump to conclusions" and hurt innocent people!!
Apart from that Lisa soooooooo glad you had a fabulous time here in Australia!! Again you will be missed by us all here.Hope you had a great time yesterday at Palm beach which is abt 20 mins up the road from me, I waited in all day in case you dropped by and came for a chat lol!!!!!!
Give Charlie and big ((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))) and cant wait to see you when you come to Australia again!!!!!!!!!
(((((((((( hugs Galore))))))))))
Maureen xxxxxxx
Thank you soooo much for coming back to Australia and we all look forward to your return. The workshop weekend was fantastic and I am soooo glad I attended. Your a wonderful person and my inspiration. Enjoy your flight back home and having your baby Charlie in your arms again.
Please also say a big hello to Janey for me and I look forward to seeing her on your next Sydney/Brisbane visit again also. Tell her its Michelle who took the membership photo from the internet with my mobile phone and also was able to say goodbye as I was leaving. I hope she meet ALFIE from Home and Away and that she had a terrific time in Sydney.
Cya. Bye Michelle Janes
Yep...so true Lisa and I think it has happened to us all at some point in our lives.
Safe trip home and I bet Charlie will be happy to see you too. ALSO please come back to Oz..we love you here!
Love Julie xx
Perfect timing as I deal with some pretty expert passive aggressives! oh my that can be a challenge.
Safe travels! And Welcome Back to SoCal!
Lovely Lisa , have a safe and restfull flight home , give Charlie a big hug form all the Ausies tell him we say a big thank you for letting us borrow his wonderful mum. as to you post...so true so true... i have a saying i use all the time,,, excuse the language.. wink wink... opinions are like anuses we all have them... doesnt make any of our personal ones the truth... and after all we cant get on with every person in the world we do need balance... good/bad once again thank you for sharing your life with us all . big hugs and much love to you...xxx
Living in a rural community gossip and rhumors are rampant. I've always said to people who are gossips that there are two sides to every story. This hasn't made me very popular but that's how I live.
Hi my love,
Once again your post hit home. 'when you finally get home to Charlie, please give him a big hug from me and tell him that he is loved by so many and not just by me.
Okay my love, do rest up before you start off again on your next adventure.
I do hope that you will be home for your birthday though, which is coming up on the 19th. Your gift is going out soon so you will get it before the 19th.
Take care my love. Do know that you are loved by so many of us.
I love you,
Mary
Great to read your Blog on this subject Lisa ... ;0)
I had to say it... cause it's part of ..communication!
Safe return to LA... and i just love those Timtams... coffee for me with it!
XoX
mmhhhh.....
I have waited for something like that...
I know problems like this..Communication isn't easy sometimes!
Primarily when it's one-sided...
I have the problem at the moment and it drives me so so so crazy!!
I know the time is running and it makes me restless inside!!
I have no idea what I shall do...Luring somebody from the reserve,wait.???.I don't know what is right straight now.
I'm waiting for weeks but nothing happens...-
to speak open words is so difficult...
But ok...I know what U mean!
Have a good flight home,take care and enjoy the time with your son Charlie!!
much love to you honey
hugs
Sina
Safe journey home. We are loving you so! MomMom & Bella
Hey there Lisa,
SO so true!!! Communication is so key in any relationship.
Safe travels back to your boy!!!
Love and Hugs to you,
DS
This is again incredible that you say that now...
Thanks a lot Lisa,
Love,
Lise
Thx Lisa -- a blog that was really needed for me.....communication is KEY. Safe journey home to your boy....we love you! xo
Dear Lisa,
You are so right. Without communication, we would have NOTHING. I have seen the lack of it cause so many misunderstandings. It's sometimes difficult for certain people to open up, but in the long run....the answers to questions left unanswered will never be known if you don't communicate thoughts. I feel that speaking one-on-one is the best because unless you are a very creative and talented writer, the message may not come across the way you meant it to. Great topic!!!!
Hope your trip was a good one home and I know that Charlie had the biggest smile on his face. His mom is home, YES!!!!!!
Love to you,
Keith