One step forward, three steps back!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 12:24AM Well I am back from San Diego and it was an amazing time, I met up with some fellow authors with Hayhouse, and also some friends so I had a great time with some work thrown into the mix... perfect really.
It's funny as I look back to where I am now and the space that I am in, to where I was on the last I Can Do it in Tampa, things have really changed. It's been a ride and a half, and one I will never forget. It's been a tough journey for many reasons, but what is important here is to honour the journey that I have been on. I did things that were right for me at the time.
They may not have been right for everyone else, but I had to do what was right for me. But there were times I felt like caving. Caving in for many reasons, because i was lonely, it was familiar, it was easy and the list goes on. But I couldn't it would have been like taking one step forward and 3 steps back. I had already done that before and this time i had to keep moving ahead and forward. Knowing that if I ignored certain things that were coming in and my feelings of comfort and familiarity then I would be able to get through that moment and gather strength from it to take me to the next level.
Trust me it wasn't easy and the last thing I wanted to do was listen to my friends who all had to keep me in the 'zone' or I would have caved.
It's my friends that got me through it, and actually Jonesy in particular as well as a few others but they insisted I stayed strong and i showed me that I could do it, and I was able to believe in myself.
So I look back and realise that I did it. It wasn't easy, in fact it was hard, but you know, I never took those 3 steps back, I had done that a few years before, this time I kept on going looking forward and I kept saying to myself, that I am in the right place at the right time for me.
Sometimes its hard to resist things in life, things that were once a comfort, a want, a need, a desire and move on. We beat ourselves up, but somehow when we do cave it can just reconfirm that actually we are doing the right thing in moving forward. However when there is a person involved and their emotions we have to thing also about the other person and whether it's right for them. Are we leading them on emotionally, are we giving them false hope, and also how is it going to affect you in the long run.
These are all the questions that go through your mind. So here's my thought, and it's not always right for everyone, as sometimes you have to take those 3 steps back to know that you are really doing the right thing, just like I did.
However, if you feel it in your heart and your soul and you 'know' its the right decisions, stick to it, don't take the 3 steps back as you will only kick yourself afterwards, and in many cases regret it. Keep moving forward. have friends around you who will keep you in the zone and be the strength for you and lean on them in a way that you may never have before (asking for help is hard and thats a whole other blog). But if you have your doubts then think about it, look at the reasons why you are making decisions in the way that you are, and really feel the emotion behind it.
If you are not sure, stay, until you know that what you are about to do is the right thing, but make decisions for you. And know that whatever decisions you make are going to bring about changes in your life, and probably big changes that will take you out of your comfort zone. But thats ok, because just know that you will be fine no matter what.
So look forward in life, it's all about moving forward making changes and believing in yourself. There are probably thousands of people who are going through what you are going through now, and know that you are not alone. Be brave, know that you can do it and that you will always find someone who has your back!
With love and lots of support for you!
Lisa xxx
Reader Comments (37)
mm...... Good one Lisa... really great topics lately... Thanks again hun, as always.... Somehow you always seem to know the right things to say at the right time... It's like you are psychic or something... ;)
Lots of Love and Support as well xoxoxo
GREAT blog (((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))) and a definate reminder to many of us. I sure can relate to how easy it can be to "cave" in...been there, done that many times, sometimes was the right choice but not always. It is for sure a learning lesson.
I am glad u have such good friends to hold you up when u feel weakened...true friends are our backbones, they really are.
Our lives change and we go in many diff directions but it is what our heart tells us and up to us to choose what direction to take. I hope the path u have chosen to follow leads you to a happy tomorrow ((((((((((Lisa)))))))))) And with no regrets.
Love and Hugs
Lori
Thank you Lisa ;-) another great blog and it always falls right into place.. ;-)
Well I will follow my heart and try to be good with myself, not forget myself. I know something really good could come out of it so let's go... ;-)
I hope you are fine and I send you much Love,
Gros bisous,
Lise
........
being thoughtful now...
You have answered one of my questions again - (why?? it's so weird but ok...)
I had this one in my head.
But...
taking the right decision is sometimes very hard!
When heart and intellect are fighting even harder...
Thx Lisa for this blog I want to think about it.
You are a great aid for many people here.....
Lots of Love and a million hugs your way!
Sina
Hi Lisa,
You have so much going on in your life and always so busy; it is no wonder you need to go back and be certain the decisions you make are ones that are right for you (we all need to do that, but you live a much different life than most, and don't have the time to work on issues in a normal manner). It must be lonely at times, so reaching out for the familiar, and comfortable is understandable. You are a caring, intelligent person with so much love and time for others, you need to be certain to have enough time and love for yourself, and loved ones too.
The things that happen to us should serve as a lesson for us to learn from, maybe not always the first time, but hopefully sooner than later. We can't get time lost back again, it is gone forever; and "in regret" is a tough way to spend the future. We all need to be there more ourselves, and the most important things in our lives: now.
With Love and Support Always,
Cheryl
(I meant to write: We all need to be there more for ourselves, and our loved ones now.)
Another great post Lisa....you always know what we need to hear and with you at our side it is much easier to move forward, thanks for all your inspiration <3
-Brenda
Lisa
You're an Angel that was put on my path of life...and I wanted to thank you !...Reading your blog day in and day out for the past few months, has given me messages, that I do believe I already knew deep down inside, but I guess needed to read them, so that it would make more sense...Nothing in life is coincidense, there is a reason...Me ending up on your site, at the moment that I did, well !...let's just say that I'm beginning to understand soooo much !...So My dear Angel, once again, life is telling me and showing me, that everything happens for a reason, and your blogs are helping me in continuing in my path of life with great admiration with everything that's in it, and things to come, With the packages of beautiful messages that are put in my way......You are truly an inspiration to me...and to so many other Angels out there....Continue in your path of life in knowing all the good you do to soooo many human beings and spirits !!!...Stay true to yourself and enjoy the ride My Dear Angel Lisa.....your totally an important part of so many people..and they show it to you with all the love and admiration they have for you...on this blog and everywhere you go...
May your life feel complete Angel Lisa....cause you are one of a kind !
Angel 13 xxx
Great blog again Lisa. Makes all the sense in the world to me right now. :) Take care. xx
I,m impressed :) Your words and your ability to write these known words in a new way gives me such a good feeling, new optimistic thoughts, a fellling of a relationship and a deeper understanding.
Take care and warm hugs from Randi Jane
Funny how when moving forward in our lives EGO kicks in and starts throwing doubt into our choice. I have learned in the face of adversity to ask HOW, which comes from our soul instead of WHO OR WHAT OR WHEN which comes from EGO.
Lisa you are a great teacher and a very gifted soul, keep up the good work.
I'ts upwards and onward............
Ok,hmm. l am speechless. Time passes................. Ok.The last 2 weeks l was having thoughts of going back to my husband after leaving 5 months ago. l had a moment of ,what the,what if etc. This weekend l spent time with Jules and the kids and yes it felt familiar but not in a good way. Familiar doesn't always = happiness. This experience brought up so much emotion and l thought,what are you doing Rach. l have tried to leave in the past but something always stopped me. The thing is,l love Julian and walking away from a man you still love is hard. People reading this might say then why leave. l love myself more. You have to put yourself in the centre of the circle. When you feel the most alone sitting next to your husband something is wrong. l realised l was living a lie. l love to have people around for a bbq or dinner,l love watching a good band,dancing,the theatre. l love meeting new people. l am a communicator. l don't want to spend my life doing these things on my own. Eventually all your single friends get married or get into a relationship and can't be your date. We had no common ground. l was losing me. l was letting this happen by staying in this marriage. l am so grateful for every experience,even the heartache. We were brought together when l needed direction and he needed love. l am not sure what the future holds but l do know that it will all work out,it always does. l take each day as it comes. Some are good,some not so great but in the end it is not the strongest that survive,nor the most intelligent,but the one most responsive to change. Can't remember who wrote that but l like it. Hugs Racca xoxox
I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.
They were placed before me to experience and the wheels have turned to bring me to this place to experience.
Not always EASY to be the one who's writting these Blogs...cause you have to put in practice what you say.
Staying in the Right path and knowing that it will Hurt..that's the price to pay to be Free.
Have a good day Lisa ;0)
Hi my love,
again a great blog! it really amazes me how you can come up with the right things to say to people. you are such an amazing woman.
Okay my love, I just lost everything that I wrote so here it goes again.
You are so right when you say that we have to take 3 steps back in order to take a look at what we are doing, /and then when we are ready, we will take that one step forward and move on from there. And hopefully we will continue to move forward.
I know for me, I feel as if I took 3 steps back yesterday when I received a letter from the human resources person from work. She told me that my family leave was up and now I am on personal leave which means that I have no health insurance, etc. so how do I get my scripts filled with no money. I have applied for SSDI, SSI, long term disability and food stamps. the only thing I get is the food stamps. But where is the medicaid that I had applied for also? All of this is really getting to me but at the same time I know that eventually everything will work itself out. So instead of staying stuck 3 steps back i have moved forward that 1 step and hopefully I can continue to move forward.
Okay my love, enough of that. Now if you could keep me in your thoughts and prayers I think I will be okay.
take care my friend.
love to you always,
Mary
YES! These blogs lately really help me. Keep reminding me of truth.
thank you Lisa, for the pep talk. it seems when ever i read your post i get a lot out of it and it gives me some peace of mind. and corage to handle what every comes up. thank you for everthing.
love diana
I have been feeling things and facing emotions at this time that have me realizing how intense this energy can be. But you know Lisa it's ok to feel. I try to feel what I need to and to let myself have the emotional journey I may need to take. I know when I am through..I know better (as do you). We are too smart to stay in the negative realm of emotions... But sometimes it's only human to feel what we need to. Then to find those gentle turns to feeling better. To learn from the journey and release what poisons us.
Salute to your dear friends too!
Much Love to you always!
Andrea
...is just what I have been saying to my husband....
Well said, Sweetie. Well said.
You know, we just saw each other, and it had been a few months since our last encounter. Well, exactly seven months to be precise. Almost a human gestation worth. And Babycakes, you look like a different person. You always have looked beautiful to me, but now you are radiant, and confident in a whole higher energy sort of way. And you also have a core thread that tells anyone you will broker no nonsense. None.
And true, it's just the outside, and that is just a faint reflection of our insides. There's always a lag time between inside change and outside reflection. You look great, and your energy is fab. You are doing all the right things. All the right things.
Keep going forward. It's all there waiting for you. And I'm cheering you on.
Sometimes we have to make our own decisions and not follow what is expected of us by other people. It takes a lot of bravery and a bit of madness to take a different path and make your own radical decisions. A lot of unhappiness may come to you as a result of this but you also find yourself discovering a lot of personal freedom you never had before. You feel like you are waking up from a dream-like existance and feel more alive than in your old setup.
PSVC2
We absolutely do try to move forward, even though there are many 'kicks' along the way....my motto is always to see the "cup half full " - it is the only way to go, although we still slip back sometimes, you have to keep trying ... absolutely !!!
Good on you Lisa...life is very hard at times and you have to keep going, there is always a light at the end, just hard to see sometimes and you will, always, look back and think and see...what I have done and the place I have now come to....I can feel it in your words....taking control of your life and doing what you love and makes you comfortable and happy, is all that matters....
Lots of love always....Sharon xoxo
I feel like i'm always taking one step forward and 3 steps back.... I often beat myself up over it and the things i don't do/should have done earlier etc. i try to take forward steps but somehow, it doesn't always happen.
For example, I sent an email last week to someone who could have helped me. I should have sent that email ONE YEAR ago!! But i was scared and frightened to approach the person and I thought i might be able to do it without his help. I felt bad after i sent the email because i thought, "WHY did i take so long to send it?? He could have helped me a YEAR ago and things might have been better in my situation!!!"
I get mad with myself. I don't know why I couldn't get myself to send the email but i was just so held back in sending it and this fear and inability to do things is constantly replaying itself in my life on daily basis.
I feel alone in my struggles and literally, some of my friends do not understand what i am going through. I wish I had the believe that I will be fine. I wish I had a support group that you have or one that is even half of what you have!
Hello Lisa,
Thank you for another great blog.
I feel like sometimes that I'm taking 3 steps back and not taking one step forward.
Some of the friends that I've got don't understand what I'm going through sometimes and there are some that do understand what i'm going through.
I do beleive that anything will be alright.
HI Lisa! Saw you in Quebec City AWESOME !!! I don't write often but you are 100% right I was married to a man almost 15 years and we had 2 beautiful children but I was so UNHAPPY it wasn't even funny but stuck to it for all the wrong reasons.... I got separted last summer and may I say it's the BEST thing I did in years... and I know that someday I'll meet someone again :0) Hello Happiness....