Interesting Day
Monday, May 4, 2009 at 09:33PM It's been a very interesting day today, sadly Trish who looks after
the merchandise, her dog sadly passed away due to poisoning from a
garden product, so our thoughts are with her.
You know with the things that have happened today through many things,
of bought me back to what I said on my twitter as I was taking the
dogs on their morning walk, positivity, and like attracts like.
Some friends of mine have Been going through a lot of problems with
family, and sadly they are starting to change their opinions of their
family. Their family are starting to be very negative when it should
be a happy time in their life.
We know exactly how that is, both Kev and I have had problems with
family and so we can understand, but we can't make choices for peole
we can advise but that's all. What is right for us may not be right
for others.
We all have to stand up for what we believe in and stick to our guns.
It's hard but as soon as we get that negativity out of out life,
things start getting easier but you have to remember that things can
get worse before they get better mainly because the other party may
not be able to deal with your feelings of walking away.
It's a shame but it happens, and as they say you can choose your
friends but you can't choose your family.
What changed Kevs opinion was the book, "the art of happiness" with
the Dali Lama and he says that we have to let to of those who are
negative, even if they are your biological family.
So in this moment it's hard to do bit you have to stay strong and know
that you are now in charge of your life. Your are responsible for
staying happy.
Be happy!
Have a fun day!
Lisa xx
Reader Comments (31)
Unbelievable timing. Hello Lovely Lisa,,,
Sorry everyone but this is strickly to Lisa. I just showered with a shake or two of sea salt...as your blog is or is perfectly amazingly true. I am sitting here on my bed with my two doggies..and I have to do what is best for me. Very hard indeed. But, one can only take so much and not sleep to well at all. OMG how did you know...I am not sure what city to go to and look around Lisa....
Hugs to you and Sir Charlie. and Kev.
p.s.- I'm sorry for your loss Trish. My heartfelt sympathy to you.
Love,
Thank you for letting all of us know that. I am going throw a really bad patch with my sister right now and I have told her that she has to do her own thing and I wasn't trying or going to hold her back. We all have our own options and I understand that. But I don't want her to think that I am mad at her for this. I'm not if you have to move to better yoursefe than I am all for it but don't take it out on some that just wants to loves by her. This really hit home for me and I think I can understand it in my own why I just wish she could. She is my sister and she always has been different from all of us but I still respect her for that. Just because we come from the same blood line does not make us the same person. Any would of wisdom you could give me to on this and how to show and tell her this with out her getting mad at me. Love you Lot's Lisa and thank you so much for this. It's just wanted I needed today because it didn't start until today and than to see the you have Blog about it will makes me stop and think was this for me and my family. We have been throw so much I would love for us to just be happy. God Bless you and your Family!! Big Huggs to you monkey. I have a monkey to he really thinks thats his name, LOL My haert goes out to Trish for I understand what is it like to lose a dog that was family she was19 years old when we lost her. But know this she will met you when you get there
Awesome!! So needed to hear that!! My thoughts are with your friend, I lost my dog after 22 yrs. It was heart breaking, time does heal and I think of her often knowing that I'll see her again.
Thank you!
I read your blogs every day, Lisa, and although you probably don't have time to read these posts, I thought I'd drop a quick line. Sorry you never made it to Perth (Aust) but hopefully next time you will.
What I'm curious about is karma. Can someone else's karma bring negativity to your own life? When they die, does their karma stick around or does it go with them?
Hmmmm. Any ideas would be appeciated.
To Trish: I am soooooo very very sorry for the loss of your precious dog, I know how much this hurts, I truly do. Am sure you are likely blaming yourself that you shouldn't have used this product, etc, but honey, you didn't know!!! My heart goes out to you ((((((((Trish))))))))
Lisa: May I ask that you post the name of this product so other's are aware of the dangers of it? I would hate to see another animal be the next victim. I also want to say to everyone please BEWARE of Hartz products!!! I know of several incidents where animals died after being treated with some of their products...the flea and tick products.
This includes shampoo, spray, powder and flea collars. A friend of mine has created a site warning of these products. www.hartzvictims.org
Hugs
Lori aka MissMyAngelSon
Trish..Yes, all our thoughts are with you..Losing a pet family member is just as emotional as losing a person..I am sorry honey...I wish you the very best...Lisa- thank you for this blog...As always,( and i'm starting to sound like a broken record here.lol) ...but you have discussed yet another important topic regarding familes, and it is every bit true..And I needed to hear someone else say it too...Love Stace.S XXX
Lisa - There is a plaque for my front door which I would really love to put up..... but I really don't think I have the guts to do it. It reads . "Friends welcome anytime. Family by appointment only. I don't think my family would see the humour in that.
I have noticed many of your twitter tweets have made so much sense to me of late. Your messages seem so applicable to what is happening in my life at the moment..... and quite often I am blown away.
So true - I am responsible for my own happiness - I'm going to work on 'that' right now. :) ~ Rosalie (aka choppys_girl @ twitter)
Well it is definitely great when you deal with things up front isnt it. I met my sister for the first time in 52 years on the weekend - how amazing is that. So yes we are all responsible for not being victims and doing what we believe in.
I just want to wish you some happy days Lisa. Your words about the importance og smiling and now about family, went straight to my heart. I really agree, and recognize a lot of this from my own life. But again: The most important thing for me is to be true to myself and the voice inside of me.
Happy thoughts from Wensie.
Hi Lisa,
Oh boy!! Don't get me started......!! Well, I have gone on about my small family a lot, but I must say that they certainly know where to place the "knife" for maximum pain and damage!! They know us and all our weaknesses, failures, fears.....good things?? It seems like the good things we accomplished in our time growing up are "wonderfully" overshadowed instead, by all our painful issues and we are reminded of them on a more than frequent basis. Usually the biggest unload of our faults comes like clockwork on Thanksgiving after the "Keepers fo the family secrets" have imbibed a few double, dry martinis and after they have pulled out the family album! It is really hard to decide if it is better to stay, or move really, really far away, of course, that would only generate a whole new set of topics for the psychologist!
Friends, as you say are chosen, but we become as attached to them as much as if they were family (the highest honor we feel we can bestow on a friend!) After awhile, we become as annoyed with each other and jaded as with any blood relative we didn't choose. So are we saying that because friends are chosen, that once they do become as "family" they are disposable?
(I am not being argumentative, just wondering) Or, maybe it is more accurate to say that because our family wasn't chosen, but forced upon us, that we should be able to tune them out without remorse. The thing is that most of us can't do that can we? That pesky little "cricket" on our shoulder tells us that is a "No, no" and that our morals and a "little" thing called guilt keeps us steadfast and true. The albatross we choose to accomodate as we trudge through life is neither friend, nor family; it is our own sense of loyalty and duty. Is it really realistic to think we can make ourselves happy discarding those family and friends who make life a pain in the butt, or should we perhaps instead, learn to deal with them and teach ourselves to be happy despite our dismal situation? To those of you strong enough to just walk away from troublesome family and friends without remorse and can claim true happiness as a result of that abandonment, I say, "more power to you," because you are a much stronger person than I could ever be!
(I am not making any judgment, I am just contemplating the subject at hand.)
Peace and happiness to all!
Love,
Cheryl
Lisa:
I know exactly what you are saying about family. I have a sister that would drain me of energy--really! It would get so bad that I would end up taking on her problems. She would create all kinds of issues. Finally, I just said enough is enough and walked away. I haven't seen nor spoke to her for since my mother passed away--and that was back in 2002---I feel much better for it.
Absolutely right and always remember, do whatever it takes...you deserve to live a happy life !!! In the way that you choose...
Hugz xx
I also wanted to extend my sympathies to Trish on the loss of her doggy friend. It is such a painful situation, and one that happened accidently and tragically. My own loss of my sweet dog recently is still fresh and the pain raw. I can't even look at his picture without breaking down. Comfort and compassion are needed now to make this difficult time more bearable.
Love, and hugs,
Cheryl
Wow this is like wow... you were umm talking to me.....
Thanks so much and my thoughts are with Tris.
Hi my love, You reallly know where to go with your blogs. You really amaze me Lisa, I won't go into it at the moment but you really hit home with me. All II can say is we have to do what is right for us and our own happiness. And if that means letting go of a family member then so be it. No matter how painful it is, sometimes it must be done. I am in the middle of doing just that with my son-in-law, my daughter but hopefully not my grandchildren. It hurts like hell right now. Maybe someday I can sit and talk to you about it. All i can say, Lisa, for someone your age you have so much wisdom to offer so don't ever give up on that! Do know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers my love. Also tell Trish I an so sorry to hear about her dog. I have lost a few these past few years so I know how heaartbreaking it can be. My love to Kev and Charlie, Off to work I go. Again, thanks my love for everything that you are and do.
Love,
Mary
Thank you Lisa, you're wonderful ! This is so true ! I agree with everyone when they say "you really know where to go with your blogs". This subject is so interesting.
Recently, I've started doing everything I can to renew links with my mother, we've had a difficult relationship and it's like I'm learning to know her. I'm doing everything I can and I don't know why now it's getting better and I'm so happy. It's not always easy but I hold on ;-))
I never could accept that I had to break the link with my mother because she hurt me soemetimes and because it was negative of course. But now I think things are going better because i have accepted her as she is.
Anyway, thank you so much Lisa ;-))
Lots of love
Lise
Thank you for your post! So many times ... You validate exactly what I am feeling. It helps me to know I am on the right path. This path is very hard and it is hard to turn my back on those that are struggling to find their joy. But when finding their joy ... causes me to feel drained and engulfed by their dark cloud ... I need to move on. It goes against everything that I was taught ... to give, give, give and give more. But when I am depleted and have nothing more to give ... I have stayed with that person way too long. The feeling of failure ... I still haven't figured that one out yet. Or the temptation to be sucked back in.
To Trish ... I am so sorry about your pup ... A tender hug to you.
Good morning Lisa,
As I had told you before my family is so dysfunctional. I have had to just a few days ago tell my brother I can not be his bouncing board anymore. Everytime I talked to him he was extremely negative. I tried with him many times and I realized that I had to cut him loose and my life is better.
Trish I am so sorry about your lose. I lost Trixie a year ago. They are like kids. My heart goes out to you.
Love to you both
Lynn
Good Morning Lisa! I haven't written since I saw you here in Erie on April 20th but I do come here everyday to read your blog. Its a ritual with me now. Yet I just felt compelled to write today because you need to know how important it was to read those words in todays blog. Before I make a comment, I want to let Trish know how sad I feel for her losing her pet. Having a good friend like you and your special connection to the other side will be a great comfort to her in her healing process. I strongly believe the Lord knows what he is doing when he calls us or our beloveds to his home. Now for the comment on your blog. For many many years I was tortured by the ignorance of my family. I am the baby of 6 kids and believe me when I tell you I was NOT the spoiled brat one thinks of this position in line. I was tossed aside from as far back as I could remember. I didn't even know My dad and brother showed up at my graduation till I went home afterwards. My mother? Well she was the cause of all my heartache since she put us all on a totem pole when it came to attention. Skipping along with all the painful details, my point is that when I finally stopped sleeping around with men looking for attention and got older, putting space between me and my family, I finally became pregnant and married the father of my baby...21 years ago this year. Mom died in February this year and I was so spaced during her battle with the extended illness that finally took her. My sister took care of her and I refused since all my childhood memories crept up and leveled out to an eye for an eye. Dad is in a home and I love him dearly but only visit him maybe once a year. I see him when "they" have him brought to mom's house but with her gone now that only happened on Easter. Who knows when the next time will be. I hold myself back from being there because when she was making my life so untollerable he just found his own space to escape to save face between the two of us. So yes, we can choose our friends but not our family and I only have one. And she is more a phone buddy than a true friend one would expect to have. She is a poor excuse for a friend but its all I have so I hang on so I have a place to "unload" when the chips are down. Everyone...be your own true friend and rely only on yourself. Like Lisa said, stay strong and do the best you can everyday and you can't go wrong. Thank You for taking the time to read this. Have a great day!!!
Hello Lisa,
Wow! I haven't had a chance lately to read your blog (due to lots of family visitors coming to stay) and I've just caught up - I can't believe how many I've missed over this past week.
Your blog today certainly caught my eye, as I have had to struggle with many family issues over the years. I believe we choose our family members in our life, with the purpose of teaching each other some of the lessons our spirits have come to learn. I can now look at many events in the past and realise what I actually got out of each experience (when at the time I couldn't). It makes me realise just how far I have come and how much my spirit has grown over the years. And even in those situations where family members become estranged, there are still lessons to be learned - sometimes not becoming evident until some time down the track. Retrospect is an amazing thing which can often bring clarity to what once seemed an impossible situation. The saying: "everything happens for a reason" is so true!
Deb R (Still learning!) :)
Just what I needed to hear today. I have received confirmation from two sources today you and The Living Bible. I have been doing a lot of searching lately....trying so hard to rid my life of negativity.
I now have the answers.....Thank you so much Lisa.
Much love,
Cindy
Hi Lisa!!!
I'm sorry to hear about Trish's dog!!! There's many things that can poison dogs or make a dog really sick such as a poinsetta, chocolate, coffee, alcohol, avocado, Macadamia nuts, grapes, raisins, yeast dough, raw/undercooked meat, eggs, raw bones, xylitol, onion, garlic, chives, and milk. Trish, your beloved dog will be with you in spirit. I'm sure you miss him greatly!!!
Yes Lisa, we should always be positive and when negative comes to you. We just have to breathe and stop it in it's tracks and know it will go away and hopefully you don't ever see it again.
Much Love to you and everyone <3 <3 <3 ; )
You blogs are so comforting...I am physically I'll from all these years of negativity in my family, I'm tryin so hard to recover from it, but it's difficult when these people are still in your life. I'm definitely sticking to what I believe is right...and I'm really hoping that one day they will realize the damage that has been caused by all this negativity, and that a change will be made. I just wanna be able to function like a regular human being lol Thanks for posting this <3 Roe
Hi lisa. Tell Trish i am sorry about her puppy.That hurts so bad. Your blog made a lot of sense to me also. I have a relative that is always sick at every holiday or family get together. She i s so depressing to talk with. I used to send home a plate for her but i have stopped that. When she calls she coughs into the phone so loud and then she talks like she has a cold but then later in the conversation she forgets and talks normal. That's about all that's funny.
The last time she called i let her ramble about all her illnesses for a few minutes and then i told her i had to go that someone was at the door.She abuses prescription drugs and i have tried to get her help numerous times.After having to take her to the hospital for something that involved pain many times. I finally told the hospital to check the # of times she had been there and for what and they didn't give her any thing.
I won't take her anymore. What a sad life for her. I'm done. I won't be an enabler.
Can't wait to see you in Rockford, I'm going to make some pins and things for those from this site that are going so you'll see us........We'll light up your world......Literally lololol Love mary margaret
Dear Lisa,
I read your blog this morning and have been thinking long and hard about it most of the day. I too, have had family issues for a little over two years now. 3 out of my 4 siblings have decided not to speak to me over circumstances that happened those 2 years+ ago. It breaks my heart, as I thought that we were always close to each other and after our parents passed figured that all we had of them was each other. I realize now, with the help of my husband and friends, that you are right. I can not change them or the way they feel. We do all have choices and I guess they have made theirs. It's funny though, I still love them, always will. I could forgive them, but realize that our relationship would never be the way it was, if in fact that should ever happen.
I try to not think about it and keep my life full with my husband, children and grandchildren who give me unmeasurable pleasure.
Life is way to short to dwell on things that you can't change. Negativity is a wasted emotion and tiring.
Thanks for this particular blog. It really hit home with me.
Love,
Michele